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Ages: 13-14
To annagayle14!
Gemma .
4/21/2017


In all honesty, when reading the snippet, I didn't find a problem with it. I never once thought, "Oh, this is way too repetitive." If you put she (referring to her mom) then that would confuse the readers. I would say use 'she' when you don't think it would be confusing. Also, when she's directly talking to her mom you could say "Mom, I..." and so on so that the readers know who she's addressing and automatically know in their mind, "Oh, she's talking to her mom." I hope that this helps. I absolutely cannot wait to read your story! –Gem
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annagayle 15   

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