One morning Kanan was walking past Darth Maul, and Darth Maul stabbed him with his light saber.
Then Ezra walked passed, and got mad and stabbed Darth Maul with his light saber-blaster.
Then Hera walked by and got REALLY mad, and she burnt Darth Maul's body, and then she disintegrated his ashes, so now they're little tiny particles.
A while later, at Kanan's funeral, some random person ran up to Kanan's body, and yelled: "Be revived by the power of me!"
And Kanan came back to life, and the random person ran away.
Then everybody hugged Kanan.
And then Kanan woke up from a dream, and he was sitting in the kitchen on the Ghost.
Then a giant cowboy toy with a knife started trying to roll towards Kanan. Then Kanan shot it with his blaster.
Then another giant cowboy toy (with joints) throws a lasso around Kanan's neck, and Kanan cut it with his light saber and stabbed the giant cowboy toy.
Then Ezra runs in and said: "Let's party!"
And a disco ball came down through the ceiling, and all the rebels came in and started dancing.
Then Hera said: "Let's dance."
And dragged Kanan to the dance floor while he tried to crawl back to his seat.
Then, when Hera wasn't looking, Kanan ran away and drowned himself in a lake.
Then Kanan woke up from a dream.
Kanan walked out of his cabin on the Ghost, and into the cockpit.
Sabine said: "Good time to wake up. We're under attack!"
Then the Ghost exploded.
Then Kanan woke up from another dream.
Then the tooth fairy said: "You had a loose tooth, and I pulled it out."
The tooth fairy was holding a giant sharp dragon tooth.
Kanan looked under his pillow, and there was a giant gold coin underneath his pillow.
Then the tooth fairy said: "Wait! I'm not finished talking to you!"
And the tooth fairy stabbed Kanan with the dragon tooth.
Kanan woke up from another dream.
He was in his cabin on the Ghost, in the rebel base.
Kanan walked out of his cabin.
Hera was doing repairs on the Phantom.
I know what you're thinking, my sister is insane.
But no, she's just good at making up crazy stories.
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